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Heat
7.2/10 stinky bananas A really good movie that falls off HARD in the final act. I got lots to say, and I don't really feel like writing full sentences, so this review is going to have a healthy serving of point form. If you don't like it then... "that's too damn bad" - Sigourney Weaver's Grandpa in Holes. Anyway, here's what I like: Pacino's performance is truly unhinged and I absolutely love it. The whole cast put in great performances, De Niro and Pacino are a cut above the
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National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
5.6/10 stinky bananas Christmas vacation is not the Christmas classic that it's made out to be. The first half of the movie is bad, but as the movie builds (and chaos ensues), it gets funnier. The end result is a half-decent Christmas movie with a fantastic theme song. And that's all I have to say about that. See ya.
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The Christmas Chronicles
0/10 stinky bananas Pathetic excuse for a Christmas movie. Consider me offended. Awful script. Terrible concept. The acting... holy smokes. The little girl is the worst actress of all time. Whose niece is that? There is no chance she auditioned and the casting director chose her to be in this movie. I refuse to believe that I live in a world where that may have occurred. How much did they pay Kurt Russell to do this? 40 million dollars? I can't imagine he read the script befo
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A Very Jonas Christmas
4.5/10 stinky bananas It's practically a Hallmark movie. It has a healthy mix of fun charming moments and some extraordinarily dumb scenes. It's like a bag of Chicago mix popcorn, but instead of the cheese and caramel mix, it's half cheese popcorn and half little popcorn-sized pieces of shit. The Jonas Brothers were actually quite good in this movie. Pretty damn funny. Certainly an upgrade over the washed-up actors and soap opera stars that are typically in Hallmark movies. T
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Jingle All the Way
8.0/10 stinky bananas Great Christmas movie. Must watch every holiday season. Gotta love Arnold. His line delivery is one of a kind. It is so unbelievably preposterous. I fucking love it. Quick rankings... Actors with unique line delivery skills: Arnold Schwarzenegger Christopher Walken Nic Cage Good Christmas story. An absentee father that will do absolutely anything to do right by his kid. No complaints there. Phil Hartman steals the show. So fucking funny. Easily the best
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Smile 2
8.5/10 stinky bananas These Smile movies are psychological warfare. Smile 2 is a worthy sequel. It's better in some regards. Well...
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Smile
8.1/10 stinky bananas Damn good horror flick. Well directed movie. Smile is riddled with suspense, paranoia, and great fake-outs. The...
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One Battle After Another
5.6/10 stinky bananas Predictable and slow. The acting performances save this movie from being a complete dud. Leo, Sean Penn, and...
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Nope
6.9/10 stinky bananas Pretty good. Could've been great, but the movie kind of stumbles its way to the finish line. I like the concept....
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Shooter
8.4/10 stinky bananas Damn good action thriller. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Solid writing. Captivating story with snappy dialogue. Shooter...
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Wedding Crashers
9.9/10 stinky bananas All-time comedy. One of the best. Vince Vaughn at his peak. Excellent writing. Top 5 most quoted movie of all time?...
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White Chicks
8.5/10 stinky bananas Imagine if this movie got made today. I'm actually not sure which side of the aisle would be more mad about the...
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Happy Gilmore 2
7.7/10 stinky bananas All things considered, it's a pretty damn good sequel. This movie takes a lot of swings, but I think they hit more...
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The Fantastic Four: First Steps
9.0/10 stinky bananas The new Fantastic Four movie is... dare I say it... fantastic. I loved just about everything about it. The...
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Superman
7.1/10 stinky bananas Pretty good. Not great. Probably the worst of James Gunn's comic book endeavors. I like David Corenswet. He's a...
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F1
6.4/10 stinky bananas Decent movie. Leaves a lot to be desired. F1 is definitely disappointing given the hype, but the Hans Zimmer score...
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Dinner for Schmucks
0/10 stinky bananas A complete failure of a movie on every level. YIKES. It's a painfully uncomfortable and unfunny movie with some of...
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Captain America: Brave New World
4.4/10 stinky bananas Not good. It's the worst MCU movie I've seen in a long time. Captain America 4 is written like a CSI: Miami...
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Friendship
7.6/10 stinky bananas Easily one of the strangest movies I've ever seen. Tim Robinson is hilarious. He's one of the funniest people on...
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Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning
8.9/10 stinky bananas Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning is good old fashioned Mission Impossible fun. Tom Cruise is the fucking...
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