8.7/10 stinky bananas
Much better than the original.
This review is an ode to the 2008 Miley Cyrus banger "7 Things".
The 7 things I like about you (Avatar: The Way of Water):
The 3-hour runtime flies by. Great pacing.
The water animation looks fantastic. The water biome is a thousand times better than the forest from the first movie.
I actually cared whether or not the characters lived or died. Bravo, James Cameron, you made me care about those blue fuckers.
The outcast whale is by far the best character. He goes absolutely apeshit in the final battle.
The shark scene is awesome.
The last 45 minutes of action is great. I will never get tired of seeing arrows and spears go straight through people.
Avatar Stephen Lang slaps.
The 7 things I hate about you (Avatar: The Way of Water)
The Sigourney Weaver clone character/storyline stinks out loud. I guess they are trying to set something up with her character down the road. Guess what? I don't care. Sigourney Weaver can fuck right off.
The plane that comes to help the girl after she has a seizure is the dumbest plot device of all time. They come to help her, they don't do anything, then they leave. In the process, they give away Jake Sulley's position. Lazy lazy writing. James Cameron should be ashamed of himself.
Bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro, oh my god shut up. Why the hell are the kids saying "bro" every five seconds? Incredibly irritating.
I don't understand why Jake Sulley is such an asshole to his son for the entire movie. Take it easy, pal.
Why does Jake Sulley say the water place is his home now at the end of the movie? Makes no sense. He's been there for a cup of coffee. He spent all that time in the forest and now he's saying fuck 'em? Not very nice, Jake Sulley.
The hair link thing is still gross. Yuck.
They probably should've let Stephen Lang die (spoiler alert). It would've been more satisfying.
That's a review, folks. Miley Cyrus edition. Catch ya on the flip side.