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Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

7.2/10 stinky bananas


Decent Indy movie. It's definitely an upgrade over the one with aliens.


For true Indy fans, there is lots to like about this movie. It's a return to form in terms of the mystery solving and the classic hijinks that Indy always seems to get himself into. Mads Mikkelsen as the villain is a big upgrade over that stinky Cate Blanchett character from the fourth Indiana Jones movie. Mikkelsen is very convincing as a Nazi, a little too convincing. Indy fighting Nazis - a tale as old as time (technically speaking, it's a tale as old as 1981).


Side note: Harrison Ford is fucking ripped. Is this old man on roids?


Indiana Jones 5 has a ton of flaws:

  • Deaged Harrison Ford looks like ass. It reminded me of the animation from The Polar Express.

  • The Goddaughter and the little Moroccan kid are shitty characters, I couldn't give less of a fuck about either of them. This movie is ten times better with Shia LaBeouf's character instead of the Goddaughter. You know I'm right.

  • There are a couple of scenes with Harrison Ford doing the "old man run" and it was tough to watch. Just put a fucking stunt double in there for him. It's not that hard.

  • The time travelling thing didn't really work for me. You're trying to tell me there are these giant fucking wormholes in the sky? Planes would be flying into those things all the time ending up in the 1700s by accident. Stupid.

  • The emotional moments of the movie missed the mark. I wasn't feeling it.


Indy fans should definitely watch it. Non-Indy fans should watch Indiana Jones 2 because that's the best one.




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