6.0/10 stinky bananas
The Amazing Spider-Man is not a terrible movie. Any Spider-Man movie that directly followed the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies was going to get shit on regardless.
I’ll start by saying this… Andrew Garfield is a better Spider-Man/Peter Parker than Tobey. Anybody that says otherwise is blinded by the nostalgia they feel for the original trilogy. I hate to break it to you casuals, but Tobey is one of the poopiest actors in the history of cinema.
The Amazing Spider-Man doesn’t have very many standout scenes, but the movie as a whole is an easy watch. A few smiles, a couple laughs and some good ol’ fashion spidey action. But I get paid the big bucks to give serious and professional movie critiques so here goes nothing.
There is this scene where Spidey grabs a basketball and dunks it, but he TRAVELLED! He fucking ran from half-court and didn’t dribble once. You can’t fucking do that Spider-Man. He broke the backboard too. Way to go Peter, now nobody can play. Asshole.
That’s not the only heinous act that Spider-Man commits over the course of this movie. He makes a promise to a dying cop, and then he immediately breaks that promise as soon as that guy is dead and buried. You may as well go and piss on his grave while your at it. Not nice Spider-Man!
Also, the Uncle Ben death scene does not hit nearly as hard as the original. It’s a tough miss because of how good that scene is in the original trilogy and how important that moment is for the character overall.
The worst part about the movie is that the villain is subpar. This guy’s whole plan is to turn everybody into lizards because being a lizard is the next step in human evolution??? Hey buddy, that makes no sense. Get a better reason to be a bad guy, lizard man.
I would be remiss not to mention that this movie has one of my favourite Stan Lee cameos. The school fight scene with the lizard man is a very good scene and the inclusion of Stan Lee made it even better. RIP Stan Lee.
The Amazing Spider-Man is certainly not a must-watch in the pantheon of Spider-Man movies. Skip it!